“Nevertheless, even though you chant and believe in Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, if you think the Law is outside yourself, you are embracing not the mystic Law, but an inferior teaching…. Attaining Buddhahood in this lifetime is then impossible. Therefore, when you chant myoho and recite renge, you must summon up deep faith that Myoho-renge-kyo is your life itself….

 “That is why the T’ien-t’ai school’s commentary states, ‘Unless one perceives the nature of one’s own life, one cannot eradicate one’s grave offenses.’ This passage implies that, unless one perceives the nature of one’s own life, one’s practice will become an endless, painful austerity….

 “A mind now clouded by the illusions of the innate darkness of life is like a tarnished mirror, but when polished, it is sure to become like a clear mirror, reflecting the essential nature of phenomena and the true aspect of reality. Arouse deep faith, and diligently polish your mirror day and night. How should you polish it? Only by chanting Nam-myoho-renge kyo.”

Innate darkness is what clouds the mirror. It’s very, very personal, and it’s in your own life, not out there. It is unique to you and it looks a lot like shame. Deep deep feeling there’s something wrong with me. “I would do anything not to have that exposed to the light.” Fear of exposure. “Radical Acceptance”: book and tapes by Tara Brach.

The feeling of shame and inadequacy is the most pervasive form of psychological suffering. “There Is Nothing Wrong with You” book by Cheri Huber.

If you were treated like something was wrong with you (he read stuff we all hear from our parents and others from the book, like “What is the matter with you?”), you concluded that something must be wrong with you. The process is:

1. Think “Something is wrong with me.”

2. Look for flaws.

3. Hate the flaws

4. Punish ourselves (cuz that’s what good people do)

We’re taught that looking to our own hearts for guidance is bad and self-centered. Taught we should be punished and then we’ll be good.

Is the inherent truth in our lives that we are bad and should be punished? We are flawed? No, it is we are Buddhas.

Most common motif of enlightenment…that we are climbing a mountain toward perfection. This leads us to distrust our feminine, earthy nature.  We think we have to subdue and control our desires, our sexuality, in order to become more perfect realized beings.  There is an inherent distrust associated with this view.

Carl Jung: Enlightenment is turning our own life toward wholeness. We cut off certain parts of us due to shame and that results in us being alienated and cut off from the world. We require the full awareness of the 10 worlds as they exist within us. Its not enough to know you have to the Ten Worlds. What are YOUR ten worlds?  And since you can not eliminate them, how can we embrace them in a way that leads toward wholeness?

The Guest House, by Rumi

This being human is a guest-house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

Some momentary awareness comes

As an unexpected visitor,

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

Who violently sweep your house

Empty of its furniture,

Still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

For some new delight,

The dark thought, the shame, the malice

Meet them at the door laughing,

And invite them in.

Treat each guest honorably. Meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Don’t struggle to not look at something; it might be preparing you for some delight.  This poem reflects a posture we might assume when chanting, an openness to all of our experiences.

We come up with elaborate methods of shame avoidance.

There is a pain so utter

It swallows up substance

And then covers up the abyss with trance

So memory can step over, around and upon it.

We all know what this pain is.  It is the pain of feeling inadequate, of not good enough.  And it is so powerful, that we live our lives in a trance, so that we never have to look at it. Psychotherapy is often the process of waking people up from their trance,  out of the story we tell ourselves about who we are and into a more authentic life.

Imagine a life without anxiety about being imperfect. Our Buddha nature is perfect and it knows we are imperfect and its ok . We all have struggles to avoid shame or our sense of not being okay: 

1. Avoidance, numbing (drugs, alcohol, food -- #1) \

2. Denial. “I’m fine.” Don’t even admit pain to self.

3. Judgmentalism/criticism/anger: from our own feeling of inadequacy. Always have to be right. “The world is divided into people who think they are right.”

4. Self-improvement projects: “I have to be better now. Am I okay now? Am I better?”

Paradox of being Buddhist: we want to become a better person, but we’re already the Buddha. We add an extra layer of shame to our lives because we hate our selves for hating ourselves. So maybe the message is we don’t have to become better people, but simply turn our hearts toward our life and learn to embrace everything we find, with love and compassion.

Ask yourself, “What is it about me that is unforgivable?” If you could have compassion or love for yourself for hating yourself, you would no longer hate yourself. You’d be loving yourself and nothing would need to change. You’d be okay as you are.

 As Buddhists: 

1. Awareness. Have the courage to ask yourself, “What’s really true in my life? What’s asking for attention?”

2. Need jihi –we have a really bad translation of this word…mercy…which is very Christain and judgmental and condescending.   Jihi comes from word meaning “loving kindness and compassion.”  There is nothing wrong with Buddhists talking about love, when it comes from this deep deep heart space of compassion and kindness. You have to bring this to yourself and your own life or this work will become and endless and painful austerity.

Nichiren is not saying chant about polishing your mirror. He’s saying chanting is polishing your mirror, polishing your life.  Chanting Daimoku could be seen as a sacred space in your life, a place where you learn to experience an embodied presence. Rather than indulge and chase after the endless chatter of thinking and planning your life, learn to sit with what is….A fully embodied life, a person who can sit in front of Gohonzon and chant Daimoku with mind/body/heart will in fact polish the mirror of her life. 

Wild Geese, by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile, the wild geese, high in the clear blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like wild geese, harsh and exciting –

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

From Dreamwork, by Mary Oliver, Atlantic Monthly Press

I love this poem, because it speaks with such love and tenderness toward our essential nature, if only we could learn to trust ourselves. 

We are all Buddhas, but we are suffering Buddhas when we fail to recognize our own true nature.  Nichiren inscribed all ten worlds on the Gohonzon.  We see in the Lotus Sutra that some of the most disturbing demons vow to protect the votary, and these demons..kishimojin, etc, appear on the Gohonzon.  The tradition can be found all throughout Buddhism.  Why is it that the most negative and difficult energies, shadow deities are the ones who vow to protect us?  Who in fact guards the gates of our enlightenment?  And more important, could it be that by facing and embracing our own very personal demons and innate darkness, with compassion and great love, we might find a more complete and authentic life?

And finally, I want to share this poem by Antonio Machado:

Please feel free to substitute "Buddha" for "God" at the end….

Last night as I was sleeping,

I dreamt—marvelous error!—

that a spring was breaking

out in my heart.

I said: Along which secret aqueduct,

Oh water, are you coming to me,

water of a new life

that I have never drunk?

Last night as I was sleeping,

I dreamt—marvelous error!—

that I had a beehive

here inside my heart.

And the golden bees

were making white combs

and sweet honey

from my old failures.

Last night as I was sleeping,

I dreamt—marvelous error!—

that a fiery sun was giving

light inside my heart.

It was fiery because I felt

warmth as from a hearth,

and sun because it gave light

and brought tears to my eyes.

Last night as I slept,

I dreamt—marvelous error!—

that it was God I had

here inside my heart.

Translated by Robert Bly

***

Lee Wolfson is a psychologist at Western Pacific Clinic and Institute (WPIC), a division of the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center, USA. WPIC is an international leader in the research and treatment of mood disorders. For the past 11 years, Dr. Wolfson has worked on several landmark studies in the treatment of depression and bipolar disorder. He has published several papers on psychotherapy and regularly presents symposia at professional meetings. He is also a founding member of the International Society of Interpersonal Psychotherapy. He has practiced Nichiren Buddhism with the Soka Gakkai International-USA (SGI-USA) since 1972.

Click here to read Lee's essay from the February 9, 2001 World Tribune titled, "The Struggles and Triumphs in Challenging Depression."  Acrobat® Reader Required.)

*The letter "On Attaining Buddhahood" can be found in The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, Soka Gakkai, Tokyo, 2000. Available for order at sgi-usa.org.

**"The Florida Nature and Culture Center is a Buddhist retreat that "was built as a facility for SGI-USA members to refresh their spirit and determination to practice Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. As SGI President Daisaku Ikeda commented: 'There should be time for sleeping and time for chanting. People should leave energized and filled with hope.'" (from sgi-usa.org)

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